Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Shinier than yours, meatbag. Why did you bring us here?

I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. Is that a cooking show? Yeah, lots of people did. Bender, quit destroying the universe! Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

A Leela of Her Own

Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you? A sexy mistake. I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. Bender?! You stole the atom. Now Fry, it’s been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?

Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences

So, how ’bout them Knicks? With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! Your best is an idiot! That’s the ONLY thing about being a slave. This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!

The Farnsworth Parabox

You’ve killed me! Oh, you’ve killed me! Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I’m still single? It’s ’cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans! Check it out, y’all. Everyone who was invited is here. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think?

Fear of a Bot Planet

For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. And from now on you’re all named Bender Jr. A sexy mistake.