Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV

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You’ll have all the Slurm you can drink when you’re partying with Slurms McKenzie! OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Bender, quit destroying the universe! Can I use the gun? Is that a cooking show? You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?


Put Your Head on my Shoulder

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It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels. Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo.


Love’s Labors Lost in Space

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Noooooo! We’ll need to have a look inside you with this camera. Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him! Hey, guess what you’re accessories to.

They’re like sex, except I’m having them! I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later. Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that’s shaped like a man wearing a hat. Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy.


The Day The Earth Stood Stupid

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Bender, quit destroying the universe! I don’t know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas. And then the battle’s not so bad? Can we have Bender Burgers again? I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later. Ow, my spirit!


A Bicyclops Built For Two

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I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Oh God, what have I done? Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. A true inspiration for the children. With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun!


The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz

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You’ve killed me! Oh, you’ve killed me! Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I’m still single? It’s ’cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans! Check it out, y’all. Everyone who was invited is here. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus.


The Problem With Popplers

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So, how ’bout them Knicks? With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! Your best is an idiot! That’s the ONLY thing about being a slave. This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!


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