Put Your Head on my Shoulder


It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels. Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo.

A Bicyclops Built For Two


I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Oh God, what have I done? Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. A true inspiration for the children. With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun!

The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz


You’ve killed me! Oh, you’ve killed me! Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I’m still single? It’s ’cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans! Check it out, y’all. Everyone who was invited is here. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus.